Living Adjustments
I didn’t realize it had been so long since I had written anything. I don’t know if anyone reads this, but I ought to do it for me. I’m going through that spritiual disciplines book for class and read the chapter on journaling. Hopefully I can become more consistent.
I’ve just been going to school, working what few hours they give me at the theater, and living at home. Some apathy has set in because of feeling no mood with the whole bipolar thing.
With living at home and graduating, there’s been quie a few adjustments I’ve had to make.
One adjustment is not having anyone to hang out with, do accountability with, or just do brotherly community with. Like BYX. Sure, I go to church and a single’s Bible study, but I just haven’t found a group of friends, guys, to do life with. Maybe I ought to start going out to different kinds of places other than Christian things to find friends (like other than BIble studies and church). I definitely miss all the BYX guys, Carter and Tyler, Eli/Sam/the other Tyler/Chi Alpha people. Kind of sucks. So I’ve had to adjust to loneliness. Maybe God is trying to show me something. I don’t know.
The second adjustment is living with everybody here in the family. This includes parents, sister, and two nephews. Sometimes there’s just no privacy. Plus, since everyone has to wake up early for work, I can’t watch TV or stay up as late, except for being in my room. Then there’s having to sacrifice my vote to do things like going out to eat and doing stuff to make everyone else happy. Craziness and temper tantrums are at their all-time high to have to listen to. It’s also different to tell people where you are going and what you’re doing and when you’ll be home. General neatness of the house is something else that’s been different – more of it than what I’d like.
One adjustment about living at home that’s been great and a pleasant surprise is food. The pantry is always full, even of stuff I should stay away from. There’s home-cooked meals so I don’t have to eat out or have to use my very limited, almost no, cooking skills. I don’t have to live on TV dinners. I don’t have to always scope out where to get free meals as much.
Not having a busy schedule is something else I’ve had to adjust to. I’m used to having things to do most nights of the week. I study mostly during the day and then my current movie job only lets me work one day a week. (I got to start looking for a new job). I have too much free time sometimes. I hate it too because I go to bed earlier because I get bored and don’t have alot to do. I like staying up late. I don’t like to go nonstop, but I do like having things to do. so this has been a rather large adjustment.
Going to church hasn’t been that big of adjustment. My parents “ggently urge” me every Sunday to go. Plus, going to seminary, I have to go to church for part of Spirtual Formation class. I go to Crossroads in The Woodlands. I still prefer the emerging church, but Crossroads is a good church. But, it still is a traditional, American church – which I’m not particulary a fan but know i need to go. It’s not like a traditional Baptist church.
These are the major adjustments I’ve had to make living at home. There are plusses and minuses about it. Maybe God has a reason for me to be here right now. Maybe to get healthy or something. It’s not too bad, could be worse. Sometimes I want to pull my hair out and run down the street naked.
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